this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We need to rekindle our bromance
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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