Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
