hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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