so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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