Already got asked if we're dating
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize