i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
