Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
