We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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