Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i dont even know how to be here
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
