People in love make me want to vomit
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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