I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
