that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
