it's too hot outside to masturbate.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
