Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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