Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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