1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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