I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
