lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
