I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
