look no pants
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize