Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
