Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
