I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
