we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
