Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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