Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
