thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
