New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
