i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
