I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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