it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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