none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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