last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
