Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
