I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
