Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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