Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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