yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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