are you so shy because you have an std?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
