Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
