Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
