if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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