The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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