Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
