That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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