do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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