Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i think my mom watched the whole time
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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