The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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