He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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