Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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