I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
