Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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