What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
