Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize