Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
