Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
