gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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