Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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