brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
