You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
