4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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