Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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