if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
